Let’s face it—our brains are amazing, but they don’t always work in our favor. Every day, we make decisions big and small, and while we like to think we’re being totally rational… we’re often not.
That’s because we fall into mental traps—little thinking patterns that feel convincing but quietly steer us in the wrong direction. The good news? Once you know what to look for, you can catch yourself in the act and make better choices.
Here are 10 common thinking traps that might be tripping you up—and what you can do about them.
This is when your brain goes to extremes. You’re either a total success or a complete failure. There’s no in-between. Spoiler: real life rarely works like that.
Try this instead: Remind yourself that most things are somewhere in the middle. Progress, not perfection.
Something bad happened once, so now it’s always going to happen. One rejection turns into “I’ll never succeed.” It’s a trap that makes your world feel smaller than it really is.
Try this instead: Stick to what actually happened—not what your brain is spinning into a pattern.
You imagine the worst possible outcome and run with it. Your boss sends a short email, and suddenly you’re convinced you’re getting fired.
Try this instead: Ask yourself, “What’s the most likely thing that’ll happen?” Not the worst-case drama version.
Your brain loves to be right. So it filters out anything that disagrees with your beliefs—and clings to anything that confirms them.
Try this instead: Get curious. Challenge yourself to seek out views that don’t match yours. You might learn something new.
You assume you know what someone else is thinking—usually something negative. Like, “They didn’t reply… they must be mad at me.”
Try this instead: Don’t guess—ask. You can’t read minds, so check in instead of stressing out.
You make a mistake, and suddenly you’re not just someone who made a mistake—you’re a failure. Or lazy. Or worthless. Oof.
Try this instead: Drop the labels. Talk about what happened, not who you are.
If you feel something, it must be true, right? Not quite. Feeling anxious doesn’t mean something bad is about to happen.
Try this instead: Pause and ask yourself, “What do the facts say?” Feelings are real—but they’re not always accurate.
Shoulds are sneaky. “I should be further along.” “I should be more productive.” They sound like motivation, but usually just make you feel guilty or inadequate.
Try this instead: Replace “should” with “could.” It gives you choice, not pressure.
You assume that everything is somehow your fault. Your friend seems off, so you immediately wonder, “What did I do wrong?”
Try this instead: Consider that people have stuff going on that has nothing to do with you.
You’ve already put so much time, money, or effort into something… that you keep going, even when it’s clearly not working. Sound familiar?
Try this instead: Ask yourself if continuing is actually helping you—or just protecting your ego. Letting go isn’t failure; sometimes, it’s the smartest move.
These traps are normal—we all fall into them from time to time. But the more aware you are, the easier it gets to pause, question your thinking, and make decisions that feel more clear, calm, and aligned with who you actually want to be.
You don’t have to be perfect—just more aware. That’s where better choices begin.
