You’re texting someone, and everything seems to be going fine. There’s a spark, some good back-and-forth… and then, suddenly, nothing. No reply. No goodbye. Just radio silence.
You’ve been ghosted—and honestly? It sucks.
Ghosting is when someone disappears from your life without a word. It happens in dating, friendships, and even at work. And while it might seem like just a modern-day nuisance, there’s real psychology behind why it happens—and why it can feel like such a gut punch.
At its core, ghosting is about avoiding discomfort. For the person doing the ghosting, it usually feels easier to vanish than to have an awkward or emotionally loaded conversation. But what saves them five minutes of discomfort can leave the other person with weeks of confusion and hurt.
Here’s what might really be going on:
Saying “I’m not feeling this” or “This isn’t working for me” takes emotional effort. A lot of people—especially those who are conflict-avoidant—just don’t have the tools to handle that kind of conversation. So instead, they ghost.
It’s not right, but it’s their way of dodging an uncomfortable moment.
Some people never really learned how to deal with uncomfortable emotions—especially their own. Ghosting becomes a way of avoiding any kind of vulnerability or responsibility. It’s not about you being “too much”—it’s about them not knowing how to show up as an adult in a tough moment.
Let’s be real: it’s way easier to disappear when all your communication lives in text messages and apps. There's no eye contact, no awkward silences—just one less notification to open. In an age where everything’s fast and casual, ghosting has sadly become normalized.
Some ghosters worry that if they’re honest, you’ll get mad, try to change their mind, or make them feel guilty. Ironically, their attempt to “spare your feelings” usually makes things feel worse in the long run.
It’s not just the silence—it’s the lack of explanation. You’re left holding all the emotional weight, with zero context.
When someone disappears, your brain fills in the blanks. You might start spiraling:
Did I say something wrong? Were they pretending the whole time? What’s wrong with me?
That uncertainty is a breeding ground for anxiety and self-doubt.
If you struggle with anxiety or abandonment, ghosting can hit hard. Even if it was a casual thing, it can trigger those deep fears of being unwanted, unworthy, or easy to walk away from.
You didn’t get to say your piece. You don’t get closure. You don’t even get to decide how it ends. That loss of control is part of what makes ghosting feel so disorienting and painful.
Sometimes, yes. If someone is being manipulative, aggressive, or violating your boundaries, cutting contact is a form of self-protection. Safety first—always.
But in most cases—especially dating or friendships—a kind, short message is better than disappearing.
You don’t have to write a breakup essay. Even a simple:
“Hey, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel a strong connection. Wishing you all the best.”
...is more respectful than silence. It gives closure and shows emotional maturity.
Getting ghosted can shake your confidence. But here’s how to take your power back:
Ghosting might be common—but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. Clear, honest communication might feel uncomfortable in the moment, but it builds healthier relationships, stronger boundaries, and more self-respect.
If you’ve been ghosted, let it be a red flag—not about you, but about them. You deserve connection with people who are honest, respectful, and emotionally present.
Sometimes, someone’s silence tells you everything you need to know.
