What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are biased ways of thinking that warp your perception of reality—often in subtle but destructive ways. They’re automatic, habitual, and can significantly impact how you feel and behave.

“Most people have no idea they’re doing it,” says Dr. Rachel Lin, a licensed therapist based in Los Angeles. “You’re not trying to lie to yourself—it’s more like your brain is running an outdated script.”

Why They Matter

These distorted thoughts fuel anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and toxic relationship patterns.

“They color how you interpret everything,” explains Dr. Kevin Molloy, a clinical psychologist and author of Thinking About Thinking. “From ‘I always mess things up’ to ‘They’re definitely mad at me,’ cognitive distortions can sabotage your emotional stability without you realizing it.”

Common Types of Cognitive Distortions

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
   You see things in extremes—either perfect or a total failure.
   Example: “If I don’t ace this presentation, I’m worthless.”
2. Catastrophizing
   You imagine the worst-case scenario, often without evidence.
   Example: “If I miss this call, I’ll lose the job and end up broke.”
3. Mind Reading
   You assume you know what others are thinking—usually something negative.
   Example: “They didn’t text back. They must be annoyed with me.”
4. Should Statements
   You hold yourself to rigid, unrealistic expectations.
   Example: “I should be able to handle this better.”
5. Personalization
   You believe things are your fault, even when they're not.
   Example: “She seemed quiet—maybe I upset her somehow.”

Where Do They Come From?

Cognitive distortions usually form early in life. “They’re learned mental shortcuts,” says Lin. “As kids, we start picking up patterns—some accurate, some not. Over time, they get hardwired.”

Past trauma, inconsistent caregiving, or chronic stress can reinforce these distorted frameworks.

How to Spot Your Distortions

“The first step is catching them in the act,” says Molloy. Try keeping a thought journal for a week. When you feel triggered, write down what you were thinking—and look for patterns.

Tip: If the thought starts with "always," "never," or "should," there’s a good chance it’s distorted.

How to Change Them

1. Name the Distortion
   Just identifying the pattern—“Hey, that’s catastrophizing”—can create mental space and reduce emotional intensity.
2. Challenge the Thought
   Ask: Is this true? What evidence do I have? What would I tell a friend who thought this?
3. Reframe with Compassion
   Instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I had a tough moment, but that doesn’t define me.”
4. Practice Regularly
   “These habits are like mental muscles,” says Lin. “The more you challenge them, the weaker they get.”

When to Get Help

If these patterns are leading to chronic stress, low mood, or self-sabotaging behavior, therapy—especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)—can be life-changing.

“CBT was designed to disrupt distorted thinking,” Molloy explains. “It’s not about toxic positivity. It’s about accurate thinking.”

Final Thoughts

Your brain means well—it’s trying to protect you. But sometimes, it protects you by predicting danger that isn’t there.

You don’t have to believe every thought you think. Especially the ones that tear you down.